When I was a teenager, I picked up smoking. Somebody let me have one of their cigarettes and I loved how it felt. I came back for my 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and then I bought a pack. I loved everything about smoking. I loved the taste, the inhale and exhale, the joy of opening a new pack, the feel of nicotine, it relaxed me. However, I am a multiple. If you aren’t familiar with that term, it’s what a psychologist would call multiple personalities. However, we don’t consider ourselves mere personalities, nor do we consider it a disorder (although it can be for some multiples). This is what drove me to quit. My headmates (the other people I share this body with) didn’t smoke. I knew that if I died smoking, they would die with me. I couldn’t live with the idea I might kill these 8 other people with my habit, all of them innocent people. I gave up cigarettes cold turkey. I stayed quit for 12 years. However, it was still a struggle. I still wanted a cigarette all the time, it was always so tempting to pick it back up. The truth was, I really enjoy smoking. I tried pacifying my desire to smoke with tobacco free herbal cigarettes, but it became apparent that I wasn’t only avoiding nicotine and still getting tar. My hand to mouth habits manifested in severe nail-biting (till the point of injury), gnawing on pens and bottle caps, and many other unhealthy ways. I even broke several teeth mindlessly chewing on nearly anything without even realizing it. All these years wanting a cigarette, the stress of life finally caught up to me and I was at a point where I was at the store, cash in hand, to go get a pack of my old friends – Camel cigarettes. Financial trouble, trouble at work, and the stress of an unrelated health problem, it was all too much and I knew tobacco was relaxing. However, at the last minute, I decided to pick up a disposable e-cigarette instead. I took a drag, and it was close enough. 3 disposables later, I decided to get myself a pen style vape. The vapor production and hand to mouth satisfied my behavioral needs (the gnawing is starting to fade away), and the nicotine gave me the same relaxation and relief I craved. Now, I’ve been lowering my nicotine levels in my e-juice. My plan is to keep the dose low. I am FINALLY at a point where I don’t want a regular cigarette. I thought 12 years would be enough to not still want to smoke, but it wasn’t. Vaping finally took that temptation away. There are debates as to whether or not vaping is completely harm free, but there is no doubt in my mind (or the minds of my headmates) that the minimal POSSIBLE risks are worth not being tempted to return to the cigarettes we ALL KNOW are VERY harmful. If it wasn’t for my e-cig, I’d have a Camel in my mouth right now, just like old times. I am very thankful for this battery powered godsend!