My story is similar to so many others out there who had a multi-decadal struggle to break the unrelenting grip of cigarette addiction. Cigarette addiction is not simply a nicotine addiction. It goes much deeper into the mind and body. I realized this difference the first time I used nicotine replacement therapies like gum and lozenges. There is a hollow feeling that nicotine itself cannot overcome. Call it the blues, mild depression, or even clinical depression due to chemical imbalances (serotonin in particular). This is probably why anti-depressants help during the cessation process. Whether by chance or intentional design (I’ll side with the latter), I’ve never experienced anything as powerful as the grip. It holds strong for the unfortunate ones who are hardwired to be susceptible (this includes me of course). Even after 5 years of cold turkey during the 90’s I could always feel it tugging. I’m an educated man and I definitely knew better but for a myriad of reasons I could not permanently break the cycle. I’m sure some of it was from starting young (age 15) but a much larger part is my wiring. Back in the 80’s all kids tried smoking. We were even allowed to smoke in a designated outdoor area of my High School. Looking back, some kids tried and had no interest, some tried and easily stopped after a brief foray, and too many others got hooked into a life changing habit. Again, I don’t think it’s nicotine in itself. It’s just not that simple. Far fewer cigar smokers and tobacco chewers struggle the same way cigarette smokers do. I was a 1-2 pack a day smoker from age 15-23. I even worked at a tobacco store where you could smoke on the job. During the invincible years it was great and I had no worries. After college I knew it was time to give it up for good. I sucked it up cold turkey. It was absolutely terrible for the first 3 months. I wasn’t myself. My moods, energy levels, and sleep patterns were a mess. It slowly resolved over the course of a year. I was never fully myself again though. My focus wasn’t as sharp and I was more irritable for the following 4 years. But I sucked it up for the greater good. Until my relapse of course. I relapsed at age 28. I got a great new job and it was a high pressure environment. I loved it. Unfortunately the majority smoked and I quickly found myself having one here and there and went right back to a pack a day + at a blink of an eye. I honestly believe it helped me perform better on the job. The job required laser focus and smoking seemed to really help that. I had little guilt of the relapse. It felt good to be me again. I met my wife when I turned 30. She smoked too. Similar story as mine. After we got married we decided to try and quit once and for all. We we’re both prescribed wellbutrin. It did temporarily work. I’ll give it credit for that. Took care of most of the mind games but I couldn’t deal with the side effects (weird sleep patterns, very unusual dreams, odd moods, and headaches) so I stopped taking them as soon as I felt strong enough to go on my own. We did great for almost 2 years but the grip kept tugging and grinding away so we relapsed again. Then it became a battle of wills. Smoke sometimes, not smoke other times, chew nic gum, eat lozenges, and just ride the bumpy road and never feel right. Looking back it was a terrible way to live. And it affected our relationship. I had it down to smoking 1 day a week and eating lozenges all other days. I was miserable with guilt, the grip, and always irritable (and I’m pretty mellow by nature). I drew the line in June of 2013. I just couldn’t live like I was. I was rationalizing that I was simply better off smoking and sacrificing my health in exchange for my old self and sense of well being. Those are some pretty insane thoughts if you ask me. My wife and I had tried all other methods and failed miserably. It was quite a crossroads. As I pondered the problem I searched for some sort of alternative to the one or the other that I was facing. I had heard of and saw electronic cigarettes many times but hadn’t considered them a viable option. I figured it was time to look at them. I researched them deeply. Read everything I could. After a week and many many hours of reading I decided for me personally that the risk/return was worth a try. There’s plenty of information out there if you avoid all the articles full of lies and misinformation. There’s a clear line between facts and agendas. I chose to stick with the facts and made a fully informed decision. Best decision of my life too. I knew about all the advanced ecigarette devices but had to dip a toe with the disposables first. My hands were shaking as I opened the package. I wanted it to work so bad but had my doubts. After the first couple of puffs it was a fireworks moment. I knew right then and there that if this was the worst it was going to be that I found my personal utopia. I couldn’t wait for my wife to try it. When I got home I handed her a disposable and said this might be our ticket out of the mess we’re fighting. Same exact result. What a great day (marked on the calendar forever). I made a vow to never ever let tobacco smoke enter my lungs again and 3 months later I haven’t. Nor do I have any interest. Incredibly liberating experience. My best friend is a 35 year pack a day+ smoker who has never quit. I told him all about what I did and he tried it. He immediately put down his cigarettes. Never even finished the last pack he had. Now he is nearly 3 months free from cigarettes. And I feel like I saved my best friends life in a way. He’s incredibly happy I steered him to a way out of the cycle. Electronic cigarettes take some getting used to.There is still a hollow feeling for the first month. They can’t perfectly duplicate the complicated chemical effects on the brain that cigarettes do. But the method is just enough to easily fight the grip to smoke. It succeeds where all other therapies fail miserably. I strongly urge a new user to suck it up and fight the hollow feeling for a month. Things smooth out pretty quickly and then cigarettes are permanently in the rearview mirror. I have suffered zero negative effects from making the switch but the positives are overwhelming. I stopped snoring, my blood pressure dropped 10 points (doc is thrilled), my cholesterol is dropping, I haven’t gained any weight, my mind is steady, I sleep soundly (and need less sleep now for whatever reason), no more guilt, no more coughing, no more stinking, I can go on and on here. I may or may not quit using electronic cigarettes. For right now they are a reduced harm replacement for regular cigarettes. I’m fine with that for now. Luckily I can completely control my nicotine intake. I’m already down 50% from when I started. If I choose to quit ecigarettes I can get down to zero nicotine first. There will be no mental battle because I’ll be far removed for the effects on serotonin and whatever else regular cigarettes do to you. The very short story here is I found a small miracle that has greatly improved many aspects of my life and I’m very very thankful that I made the decision.