I started smoking when I was 18 and in college thanks to the friends I kept. I remember quitting a few times very early on in college, mostly thanks to girlfriends who found the habit disgusting. Most of my semi-successful quit attempts occurred in that time period, before the addiction really took hold and there was less stress in my life. As I grew older, and smoked for longer, I found it harder and harder to quit. There was always some stressor, some excuse not to stick with it. Quitting cold turkey – without any aid – was always a horrible experience and the anxiety and urges never seemed to fade completely. They would hit me hard and fast, and I began to fear I was hopelessly addicted when I found myself staring at cigarette butts in a public ashtray and considering taking them. I did, eventually, break down and take some of them. That led back to buying a pack, and disgusted with myself, I gave up on quitting for a long time. I tried wellbutrin, and it made quitting a little better, but I walked around unfocused, confused, and it felt like their were butterflies in my head the whole time. I gave up and went back. I tried the patch a few times, but it only mildly controlled the nicotine fits. When the urge to smoke did come, the fits would last for hours. I would have to leave the house and wander, because I simply couldn’t sit still and I would sweat and my body would ache. Not to mention if you forget and leave a patch on overnight – the dreams were insanely vivid. I almost broke my toe when, having left a patch on overnight, I kicked my bedframe. The patches also didn’t help with that first urge in the morning. I tried public assistance hotlines for smoking that were offered in my state. Not helpful at all. The last thing I wanted to do when I was having a nicotine attack was talk to anyone, honestly. I would become irritable, and I’m not much of a people person in any event (introvert by nature). I wound up hating myself for a long time about the smoking. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t master it. I watched my father and grandfather die of cancer and still couldn’t quit. The longer I smoked, the worse I felt about myself. Even my kids begged me to quit. I couldn’t. I tried. I would worry about losing my job, losing my temper, harming my relationship with other people. I knew I smelled. It was damaging my teeth, my hearing and eyesight seemed like they were deteriorating more quickly than they should, and my skin, never great in the first place, was always greasy and blotchy. I began to wrinkle all too fast and all too early for my years. I always had a young look to me; people would think I was years younger than I really was. Smoking was also taxed like mad, and the cost of my addiction was spiraling out of control. Cigarette taxes don’t make someone quit smoking: they just sentence the addicted to poverty. Nicotine patches and many medicines cost just as much if not more. If the cost is the same, the addict just sticks with the drug they know. Smoking changed changed a lot of things about me and none of it was for the better. About a year ago I decided to give e-cigarettes a try. I had noted that it seemed like the FDA was going to ban them, so I figured it was now or never. I managed to get a hold of a second hand one from a friend who had used it, failed to quit, and was selling his. It was made to look like a cigarette, so I figured it would work well to replace the urges. It didn’t. The battery wasn’t strong and having it look like a cigarette just honestly made me want the real thing. I was back to cigarettes within a week or two, but kept the e-cigarette and used it on long road trips with the kids so we didn’t have to stop every hour. I refuse to smoke around them or in the house, so road trips, well, they took forever. About a month ago I decided to give it another go. I’d tried everything else. I’d noticed many of the smokers at work were now using e-cigarettes successfully and started talking with them about why they liked it so much. My girlfriend, who couldn’t stand me on the first e-cigarette I had, agreed to give it one last try. I stopped in to a local shop – they were now much more readily available locally – and purchased an adjustable battery, some tanks, and some different flavors. I made sure I purchased one flavor of tobacco that closely matched my brand for those moments where I wanted a real cigarette. I closed out my last pack of cigarettes three weeks ago today. I moved over to the e-cigarette that night. The next day I was a bit restless, but otherwise felt fine. Essentially, there was zero withdrawal symptoms for me. I felt better immediately. Shifting some of my behaviors around – not having to go outside every hour, for example – was unsettling at first, but I quickly acclimated back to a more normal routine. My health has improved dramatically. My eyesight and hearing have improved, I’ve only gained five pounds, and I sleep better (and less; I never was a heavy sleeper, but the exhaustion that smoking caused changed that and the quality of the sleep I had). I don’t cough anymore unless I’m not paying attention and inhale too much vapor. Well, that or I’m coughing up left overs from 18 years of smoking. My mood that first week was actually BETTER than it had been in years. If you can go to Wal-Mart on a Saturday, sing and hum and be happy and smile, and you *just* quit smoking… well, I think that says a lot about how successful this device has been for me. I’m even noticing my need for the e-cigarette is less over time; the amount I vape is slowly decreasing. I’ve found myself getting a headache from nicotine withdrawal and not even realizing why until I take a hit off of the e-cig. I think that says a lot about how it has reduced my dependence. I haven’t had a cigarette since starting the e-cig, and have zero plans to go back. Also, the shape of the customized e-cigarette I use, which doesn’t resemble a cigarette at all, and how you have to hold it and carry it also helped to break the decades long habit of smoking. I couldn’t be happier that I found this. I feel free again. I don’t smell. I actually can’t even stand the smell of cigarettes anymore, or seeing anyone smoke, and the urge to have a real cigarette dropped dramatically almost immediately. Do I still have urges? Sure! But they pop up and disappear within seconds and aren’t even that strong. They’re less and less with every day. I haven’t had an urge for a real cigarette in almost three days now. I even stopped using the tobacco flavor I bought because it tasted horrible! My children are happy, my girlfriend is ecstatic, and my wallet thanks me. If the prices were the same I don’t what I would do. I would be tempted to go back, I think. I hope not, but addiction isn’t something you can reason with. It takes little, irrational thoughts like that and runs with it. Give addiction a book of matches, and it will burn your house down. I would worry I would find a Marlboro dangling out of the corner of my mouth again in all too short of an order, and that thought scares the crap out of me. Cigarettes are evil. I always said they should be made illegal, because that was about the only way I could ever see myself quitting. They would literally have to be unavailable entirely for my addiction to say, ok, I give up. I couldn’t quit smoking before e-cigarettes. With e-cigarettes, I’m free again. I have a chance at life.