My mother and father were smokers. I am the youngest of 3 children. None of us developed childhood asthma. I was the only one to become a smoker. My brother has been a dipper of snuff for years. Our mother died at the age of fifty from a smoking related illness. Her mother, my granny was a dipper of true snuff. She died at the age of 101 after a fall related hip fracture. I started smoking occasionally when I was only 5 years old. Our dad developed chronic bronchitis and successfully quit smoking at the age of 40. He smoked 3 packs of lucky strikes per day. He is 75, and was hospitalized twice this year for emphysema complications. I am 44. When I was 21, and pregnant, I quit smoking at 5 months after a big scare from an ultrasound result and blood test. The day I went into labor, I bought a pack and smoked between contractions. I had an otherwise natural delivery of a healthy daughter. Mom died 4 months later. Over the years of her childhood, I attempted to quit smoking. Because I didn’t want to harm my daughter’s lungs and because I didn’t want to die like mom; and leave my daughter without a mother to love and guide and support her into adulthood. I probably SERIOUSLY attempted to stop smoking 3 times a year. I had no physical problems from smoking. In fact, I had been a committed yoga practitioner since 1988, and an avid hiker, rock climber since I was a small girl. Sometimes, after a failed attempt, I would cry myself to sleep at night, beg God to help me stop; the sight of my daughters disappointment on her face made the pain almost unbearable at times. The anti-smoking education she received at school made her terrified that I would die. So it was very important to me- and I deeply wanted to stop. I was also shamed, nagged and harassed by her paternal aunts as someone who didn’t have the sense or intelligence I needed to successfully quit. And they tried to fix my insufficiencies with a steady supply of real time newspaper clippings, pamphlets etc. Boy, there were many incentives for quitting but none effective. My dad told me at about this time, how I had pacifiers as a little girl. That I would scream bloody murder if anyone tried to take it. That I hoarded them by the dozens in tiny secret hiding places throughout the house and cars. That he was once compelled to drive 50 miles out of the way during a family vacation, to replace the pacifier that somebody lost ( or stole!). That my hysteria was what had compelled him. In 2006, I began to notice some problems with my legs and suspected I might be experiencing the symptoms of circulatory problems. Again, i tried to quit. Maybe it was that I had less financial stress in my life-my daughter was in high school and mostly independent. I bought the nicoderm patch cessation system, I followed the package booklet insert exactly. I answered every question to identify triggers, was able to think of cigarettes as nothing more than a means to obtain a nicotine fix. I set a date. Using the patches, I did not smoke. Wow. Everyone was so pleased with me! I was a human being after all. And not a disgusting smelly unintelligent smoker. When the day came for me to take off that last 7mg patch, I hardly thought twice. It would be no different than the previous reductions in dose. I did not smoke 11 months after that day. I can’t remember what happened or how I came to smoke again. It did involve some social situations and I thought that it would be OK to smoke socially on occasion. But it wasn’t. I smoked at full tilt for the next 3 years. When I was’t smoking, my legs did’t hurt. After I returned to smoking my legs started hurting again. I did it before, I could surely do it again. Two months- 3 weeks- 6 days- 40 days….By now, I am having issues with my breathing and my stamina. I became fearful of outdoor activities. This is not good. I have a college degree in both biology, chemistry and I am a medical professional. I love the outdoors! In 2009-2010, I suffered from upper respiratory infections that persisted far longer than normal. I had two inhalers: corticosteroid for twice daily routine and albuterol for management of wheezing and feeling short of breath. I gave depression something to aspire. I was 41 and my worst fears were manifesting. At this rate, I will be dead in my 50’s. A pulmonary function test drove the truth really deeper. Two years ago, during one of my asthma fits, my husband came home with an electronic cigarette. He opened the package and showed me how it worked. I gave him the same look I give when he tells me why he needs to buy the Dodge with the Cummins Diesel engine in it. The look that says go yank on someone else’s leg. He put the little gadget on our mantel and said if you decide to give it a try, it’s right here. He wisely left the room and never mentioned it again. For two days, every time I moved from my spot on the couch to the refrigerator and back again, the little white shiny poser caught my periphery. And finally, after hitting on my albuterol for the 3rd time one day, I walked over and had a staring contest with the poser. The package next to it was green and white and said clean e cig. It did look just like my Marlboros. In my hand, it was heavier and seemed fat. I was not hopeful. I talked myself into giving it a 24 hr. trial. I wasn’t able to enjoy my Marlboros much right now anyway with all the coughing and wheezing so why not? Since then, I have not smoked a tobacco cigarette- except the time I was trapped on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean and without the ability to have an e cig charged-I did buy a pack of Marlboro super duper lights. When I got off the boat, I went back to my baby posers. Before the boat experience, I had actually weened the nicotine down on my vapes and hadn’t had ANY nicotine in 4 months. Today, I vape a 12mg/ml liquid. I vape a ml per day. I have not obtained a refill on either of my inhalers since before that first 24 hr trial. This year, I hiked 9 miles in SE Oklahoma; I climbed rock and hiked around 6 miles in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I work in the yard, never shy away from strenuous activity. When the air is terribly thick like it is sometimes in Oklahoma, I notice an increase in exertion for breathing. But I don’t require the inhalers and it doesn’t last. I have to admit, I don’t see the point in beating myself over the head for vaping. Other than maybe looking silly- like a big girl with her pacifier, I have no cause for stopping. I am healthier, my legs don’t hurt, my blood pressure isn’t high. And I love the lemon, raspberry and lime flavors! Since I was a little girl, I have maintained a plentiful supply of candies at home. Sweet tarts, nerds, gobstoppers, nerd ropes- I hadn’t realized until today; My candy bowl has been empty for…nearly 2 years. It appears that vaping is the answer to all my appetites.